“How Our Brains Develop”
In this newsletter:
- “How Our Brains Develop”
- Personal Development Group – “How to be Happy!”
- 4 Week Weight Loss and Motivation Boot Camp (only 10 spaces)
- Save £200 off one to one weight loss programme (only 5 spaces)
It’s packed with loads of useful stuff so well worth reading to the end!
“How Our Brains Develop”
Recently I’ve noticed a trend in people who are experiencing negative emotions…they are predominantly utilizing child ego-state behaviours. In order to explain this more fully I think it will be helpful to explain how our brains develop when we are children and to cross reference this with certain psychological theories.
When a baby is first born its experience of the world for the first couple of years is that solely of its own existence, it has no idea that its behaviour has any effect on anyone else.
For all you parents out there you may recollect your young children happily drawing on the wallpaper with felt-tip pens, or maybe emptying tins or jars of food onto the floor with absolutely no idea of what they are doing is wrong! LOL.
This ego-state is the first to develop and its primary responsibility is survival and fun, avoiding pain and pursuing pleasure. Freud called this the Id, in Transactional Analysis it is known as the Natural Child ego-state and in NLP Perceptual Positions it can be considered as Position “A”…more on this later.
At some point the child learns that its behaviour can affect the feelings of others i.e. hitting another child or pinching a toy from them makes the other child cry, it develops an understanding and consequently empathy for the feelings of others. Some Psychologists believe that murderers and sadists have not developed this behaviour at all; my own philosophy is that it is very underdeveloped because of the way the child was treated and the poor references it had from parental figures and this behaviour can be changed unless there is actual physical damage to the architecture of the brain. This is what Freud would have loosely referred to as the Super-Ego, in Transactional Analysis it can be the Nurturing Parent or Adapted Child ego-states (dependant on whether the individual is self aware or told off) and in NLP, position “B”.
Then the final piece of the jigsaw is when the child realises that if it hits another child, not only will that child cry but another person who witnesses the event (maybe one of the children’s parents) can become sad or angry, even though they have not been physically touched. This would fit into what Freud called the Ego state, in Transactional Analysis the Adult ego-state and in NLP Perceptual Position “C”.
So to summarise using NLP terms and some simple language; position “A” is your experience as it is felt, in this position we have strong feelings (positive and negative) but lack the ability to understand the feelings of how our actions or behaviour affects people we are interacting with or that may be observing our behaviour. Position “B” is where we put ourselves in the shoes of another to experience what things are like from their side of the fence. Position “C” is where we observe ourselves (Position “A”) interacting with the other person (Position “B”) from an onlookers perspective (Position “C”).
So whenever you feel stuck in your life or have come to an impasse with another person get three chairs and put them in a triangle and have two facing each other (the one on the left labelled “A” and on the right “B”) with the third chair in the middle facing the other two (labelled “C”) and get a pen and paper.
Firstly sit in the first chair “A” and be you in the situation you’re struggling with and write down all of your feelings. Secondly, imagine leaving “You” in the chair as you sit in chair “B” and write down how the other person feels with regard to you (or how the situation seems from outside of you). Then lastly imagine leaving the person or situation in chair “B” and sit in chair “C” as the impartial observer and notice what observations and new understandings you gleen from this position.
Often people are stuck in the child position “A” when they are behaving in ways that make them feel negative emotions, give it a try!
I’ll actually be demonstrating this at the Personal Development Group (below) if you want to come along and see it being demonstrated and have a go yourself, whilst learning loads of other cool stuff! Email me to let me know you’re coming!
Personal Development Group – “How to be Happy!”
It’s on Saturday 29th October 2011 between 3pm and 5pm I will be presenting a “How to be Happy!” workshop where we’ll discuss what happiness is, how we can create more of it in our lives and how we can challenge unhappy thoughts.
I’d appreciate it if you’d let those of your friends (that want to get more out of life) know about this event as I want to widen the net to reach out and help as many people as I can!
NB Critical and negative people (Persecutors and Victims) need not apply as this group is all about supporting and helping each other lead happier, healthier more successful lives!
Once again it will be held at the Jaguar Cars Sports & Social Club, (XJS Suite), Browns Lane, Allesley, Coventry CV5 9DR only £5 entry! All welcome from novice all the way up to seasoned professional, drop us an email to let us know you’re attending at info@wsoh.co.uk
4 Week Weight Loss and Motivation Boot Camp (only 10 spaces)
I’ve decided to start training now for Christmas so I can pretty much eat and drink what I want over the festive season, without feeling guilty and having to have a crazy exercise plan in January.
So I want to offer you the same opportunity and I’m really excited because I’ve put together a 4 week Weight Loss and Motivation Boot Camp where you will be exercising both your mind and body.
The sessions will begin by looking at the things that are holding you back and then you will experience my Boxercise Class that was the most popular fitness class when I worked inFrance. I also have the best International Personal Trainer I have met coming in to run two of the exercise classes who specialises in core stability exercises, great for those who want a trim tummy!
The classes will be run on 2 consecutive Saturdays a week break then a further 2 consecutive Saturdays from 10am to 11.30am and priced at £97 per person or £180 for two people.
There are only 10 spaces and before I set up the webpage and links I need to see who would be interested as I have overheads to be covered for the place I want to use.
So if you are really serious and ready to commit to these dates – 5th, 12th and 26th November and 3rd December, email me ASAP!
Save £200 off one to one Weight Loss Programme (only 5 spaces)
For one week or until all 5 spaces have gone I’m reducing my Weight Loss Programme from £497 to £297 (saving £200!) for the first 5 people to email me to ndhypnotherapy@gmail.com.
My reason for doing this is that I’m thinking of working abroad again in January so wanted to make sure I’m available to help you lose the weight before Christmas, so that you can get into “That” outfit that you want to look good in this festive season!
If you want to be one of the lucky 5 email now, (no phone calls or texts). It will be determined on the time it was received in my Inbox and you must pay on your first session and be able to start over the next 10 days, so get typing!
Looking forward to seeing you soon!
Nick
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