“Where Should We Invest Our Energy?”
In this newsletter:
- “Where Should We Invest Our Energy?”
- Personal Development Group – “How to be Happy!”
- Jedi Training – “Transactional Hypnosis” Workshop
It’s packed with loads of useful stuff so well worth reading to the end!
“Where Should We Invest Our Energy?”
I was talking a friend of mine in the gym the other day about helping people, as we both like to help people overcome difficulties and get more out of their lives.
He was describing to me some challenges he faced with certain types of people who despite his best efforts, didn’t seem to want to change. He asked if I had any advice on the subject and was pretty shocked with my reply…
“Ignore them!” I said.
I then went on to explain that there are some people in life (Victims) who thrive on the never ending attention of empathetic people who want to improve the lives of others (Rescuers).
The problem here is that if the “Victim” takes the advice of their chosen “Rescuer” this abundance of attention would dry up and they’d have to find a way of nurturing themselves and stop this dependant relationship.
So what predominantly happens is the Victim turns into the “Persecutor” by blaming their Rescuer for meddling in their life, or they develop an illness or injury that will garner further attention.
The Rescuer now becomes the Victim and may even attract their “own” Rescuer to perpetuate their own cycle of this behaviour but from the other perspective.
The way to break this behaviour (if you are any of the three roles Rescuer, Victim or Persecutor) is to first recognise the role you are playing and what are your “Pay Offs” for playing this game?
Rescuers are often playing their game as they cannot handle being rejected by people so will often use their empathetic behaviour to gain acceptance from people rather than being themselves.
Sometimes Rescuers also play the same game by seeking attention from other Rescuers when they’ve been “Victimised” by someone they were trying to help.
Here are two videos I recorded a couple of years ago that explain “The Drama Triangle” in more detail, the second gives further reading and advice on how to get out of it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SUOCq_TJm2w
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C1bX8UziCi8
My philosophy on behaviour is simple…
”Don’t Feed the Animals!”
By this I mean – Ignore Bad Behaviour, Reward Good!
Whatever you feed and nurture (with positive OR negative attention) grows stronger and by ignoring bad behaviour you allow that person the choice to choose a better strategy for their life and to take responsibility for their actions and reactions.
Life is about choices and consequences…if you don’t like the consequences, maybe you could make a different choice next time?
Make sure you allow yourself more than two choices in every situation as two choices is aptly named “Sucker’s Choice” as it often involves both choices not being right for you.
The more choices you have, the more flexibility you have and this allows you to feel more relaxed, which will ultimately lead to you being happier…which brings me nicely on to next months PD Group…
Personal Development Group – “How to be Happy!”
It’s on Saturday 29th October 2011 between 3pm and 5pm I will be presenting a “How to be Happy!” workshop where we’ll discuss what happiness is, how we can create more of it in our lives and how we can challenge unhappy thoughts.
I’d appreciate it if you’d let those of your friends (that want to get more out of life) know about this event as I want to widen the net to reach out and help as many people as I can!
NB Critical and negative people (Persecutors and Victims) need not apply as this group is all about supporting and helping each other lead happier, healthier more successful lives!
Once again it will be held at the Jaguar Cars Sports & Social Club, (XJS Suite), Browns Lane, Allesley, Coventry CV5 9DR only £5 entry! All welcome from novice all the way up to seasoned professional, drop us an email to let us know you’re attending at info@wsoh.co.uk
Jedi Training – “Transactional Hypnosis” Workshop 22nd and 23rd October 2011
This is for those of you that want to learn how to be the coolest, most popular person at those up and coming parties and social gatherings for Halloween, Bonfire Night and Christmas!
I’m going to be teaching my unique method of “Transactional Hypnosis” which also includes, palm/cold reading, psychological reading, Magic and Mentalism tricks that will have people thinking you are the new Derren Brown!
I recognise this won’t be for everybody and there are those that think I should be burned at the stake for daring to perform this witchcraft whilst running a legitimateHypnotherapySchooland private practice…what I would say to those people is “Look into the eyes, not around the eyes, the eyes, the eyes…YOUR UNDER!” LOL.
I have two guest speakers; a Hypnosis student of mine “The Great Gordini” (AKAGordonPark) who has assisted me at my stage shows and is an obsessive Hypnotist of the highest calibre. He will be teaching you his unique methods and also we have amazing Magician and Mentalist Steven Palmer, who is one of the finest, slickest performers I have ever seen who is going to be teaching you some tight routines.
The workshop has only 6 places left and is discounted ONLY until Monday the 10th October saving you £100! You can secure your place to becoming known as “Jedi” or “Ninja” at either of the two links below.
www.transactionalhypnosis.co.uk/training
www.wsoh.co.uk/transactionalhypnosis
Looking forward to seeing you soon!
Nick
